Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Truth's Immigration Policy

OK, so once again Truth is perusing the daily news the other day, and I come across yet another article about dying Midwest towns that are giving away free homes and property to any warm body that ones to relocate to Wheretheheckarewe, Kan. A little more perusing, and I come across the daily masturbation from the knuckle dragging "Republican" de jour, who wants to shut down the borders and police them with the ATF, Delta Force, and the two white guys from S.W.A.T. I have to wonder, "are these two viewpoints compatible"?

This got me to brainstorming today's exemplary post; the title of which I shall call, "Truth's Immigration Policy."

Let's face it folks, we've become lazy and soft. Your great-grand-daddy might have ridden across the frozen Minnesota tundra in a covered wagon, and tamed a 40 acre plot of land without metal tools, but you take a week off from work when you stub your toe on the curb. You are fat, whiny, you watch TV four hours a day, and you have not done real work since daddy gave you 50 cents to mow the lawn in middle school.

One of my best friends is an organic farmer. She farms 3 acres and sells a variety of vegetables and flowers at farmer's markets and local restaurants. Her employees are a motley crew of Mexican and Central American immigrants and her two sons, with an odd Navajo Indian thrown in. Her farm is 15 minutes from the best university in New Mexico, and she occasionally gets the odd 19 year old hobbyist to work at the farm; that is an 18-20 year old white kid from the New Mexico Tech who wants to "get closer to the land" and "work with his hands." I once asked her how long the hobbyists last and she replied, "usually until about lunch."

The upshot is, farm work is tough, physical, painful work, and American citizens, cutting across racial, sexual and class lines, simply don't want to do it, nor do they want to do other servile jobs that allow our oligarchs to get rich, and handsomely remand the rest of us to comfortable servitude. "You have to understand, 'Truth'", she once told me with her passion rising to an apex, "a lot of our kids have never even had callouses on their hands before!"

Let's face it, Lovers of Truth, like my friend, we need immigrants in this country, both the "ready to re-make the world" type who want to come over and establish their bright, shiny American Dream, and the type who just want to send a few bucks back to Tegucigalpa, and have a few beers on Friday night. the Not So Harmless Bureaucrats from the state of Alabama found this out in no uncertain terms. In addition to this, Americans, in their new found softness, tend to leave cold, snowy areas for warm temperate ones. When the workers do this, the companies they work for are not long to follow (unless of course, they've already moved to a warm, temperate area such as Juarez or Beijing). So this leaves rural Kansas, urban Detroit, and in-between Ohio to rust and die. All the while, we have 48,000,000 people in Los Angeles hanging out in a Home Depot parking lot, offering to change your lightbulb for four dollars.

So here's my plan, and keep in mind it's still a work in progress:

The President, in his honorable eminence, gets together with congress to create an edict. All persons of foreign birth and non-American citizenship must make his way to put his name on a roster at one of a few hastily arranged "roster stations" in metropolitan areas in all 50 states. Everyone has 2 years to come and and receive a number identifying himself. After two years, anyone who has not register is deported, additionally, anyone who has wanted for a violent crime or having otherwise made a nuisance of himself, also deported.

Once we've identified the compliant immigrants, areas that are short on workers, elementary school students, etc. "bid" upon them; that is, they ask the government how many they need, and they receive them, sight unseen by number only. You may get Mexicans men, Jamaican women, or Bulgarian transsexuals, you do not know until they show up. As these places are dying they receive housing in the empty and unused hosing being foreclosed upon, and they set up their lives. They live in the community for a period of 10 years, and and if they've done well, worked hard, adjusted properly and not been incarcerated, they are given citizenship, and are then free to move wherever they would like.

Granted it's a little simplistic at this point, but he U.S. immigration problem, foreclosed home problem and dying industrial town problem are now solved, and you see, I never even had to pick up a hoe.


anonymous said...

And what about the ones who are legal and have been living off us taxpayers and who are a drag on society? what about the ones who refuse to get their hands dirty or calloused by a hoe or are unwilling to break a sweat unless it is at a gym, because they think it is beneath them. What will be their trial terms to stay in this country?

anonymous said...

Just to clarify, I'm talking about the US born citizens....

Truth said...

We have safety nets in this country, and sometimes they are abused, but we have enough money to float a few million people who's life ambition is to skate by on $177 a week in welfare.